Words to change a life
by AbbyGibbs
Summary: Gibbs discovers a letter that will change his life forever.


**Words to change a life **

Words to change a life

Author: AbbyGibbs

Fandom: NCIS

Pairing: Gibbs/Abby  
Rating: T or FR13  
Spoilers: none  
Summary: Gibbs discovers a letter that will change his life forever.  
Warning: None  
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to CBS and the people who created NCIS.

No copyright infringement is intended.   
**A/N: Don't know where this one comes from, it's just for some reason I need to write, so that's what I do. I hope you guys will like it.**

**Special thanks to my beta finlaure for all the work she has put in this **

**Thanks to Mark Harmon, Pauley Perrette, Michael Weatherly, Cote de Pablo, Sean Murray, David McCallum and all the other for giving life to the wonderful characters of NCIS. Thanks, Laci as always.**

Unable to sleep any longer NCIS special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs got up, not really surprised when he checked the alarm clock that it was very early, a couple of hours before his inner clock would kick in. But it was no use to stay in bed, he couldn't sleep any longer. So he went downstairs to the kitchen to check if there was any coffee left from yesterday in the coffee machine. He was half surprised there wasn't. There was only one option then, make a fresh pot.

When he was about to open the cupboard to get what he needed to make some coffee, he realized something wasn't right. Not sensing any danger he simply turned and scanned the kitchen with his eyes.

His eyes stopped on an envelope that lay on the kitchen table. Briefly wondering how it got there, he then moved to the table, smirking as he instantly recognized the familiar handwriting.

_Abby_...

Not opening it right away, he went back to what he came to do in the first place. He started the coffee while his mind wondered why his forensic scientist had written him a letter... She could call him any time she wanted day and night, she knew it, he was always there for her. He didn't really think much of it, though, if Abby had written him a letter it meant she had a reason for it.

The brown, hot, liquid was starting to drip inside the pot and the smell of coffee was starting to invade the kitchen. His eyes paused on the envelope briefly before he went in search of his glasses. As he looked for them his mind pictured her writing him the letter, sitting on the couch wearing only the T-shirt she'd borrowed from him and forgot to give him back, pants and white socks. He loved when she'd wear one of his T-shirts when she'd spent the night, mostly this would happen when she didn't feel safe. She'd come down in his basement and would just look in his eyes, and he would let her spend the night.

She would curl up against him in his bed and fall asleep while he would listen to her soft breathing for awhile before he'd close his eyes as well.

Spotting his glasses, he put them on his nose and went back to the kitchen, where he sat down at the table with a cup of coffee and read Abby's letter. As he had poured the coffee in a mug, he'd looked through the window and smiled as he saw snowflakes dance their way down from the sky.

It was bound to happen, the air had become cooler the past few weeks and the wind was as cold as ice. He loved this kind of weather because Abby wouldn't use an umbrella to protect herself from the sun rays. It hid her beautiful pale face, her amazing emerald eyes and her red lips he longed to kiss for so many years.

But when it snowed, Abby would walk around, wrapped up into a thick coat, her slender neck hidden in a scarf, smiling as the snow would fall around her covering everything with white. Then without a reason, the forensic scientist would look up at the sky, close her eyes and wrinkle her sweet nose when the snowflakes would caress it and slowly dissolve. Shortly afterwards, she'd make some circles with her arms spread open beside her just like a children would often do at the first snow fall. He just loved when she did that.

He had once seen her do it when she was she was walking to the NCIS building after she had decide to get some fresh air during a tough case they'd been working on a few years ago. Since then when it snowed memories of Abby popped up in his mind.

More than once had he caught himself fantasizing that they were a couple. He would come up behind her and encircle her with his arms and pull her against him and murmur loving words into her ear before kissing her cheek. He imagined she'd giggle before turning her toward his face so that their lips meet in a sweet longing, breathtaking kiss.

_It's no use letting your mind torture yourself like that, Gibbs, she's out of your league,. She's young, beautiful why would she want an old cranky Marine like you?_

As he sat down, he took a large gulp of coffee before, setting it down on the table next to him, staring at the envelop for a moment before putting his glasses and reaching for it.

Gibbs open it and unfolded the paper out and let go of the envelope, his eyes moving from left to right as he read the words Abby wrote on the sheet of paper.

_**My Dearest Gibbs, (I know what you think, but I've always wanted to write that down) **_

_**I'm sure you're surprised to find a letter from me, but I really didn't know how to tell you all the things I want to. I can assure you that I've hesitated a long time before finally gathering up my courage and put this on your kitchen table.**_

_**But if I didn't do it now, I'm afraid I would never have, and life is way too short to not try and take the risk, so here it comes... I love you, Gibbs, I always have since the day we met. You are always on my mind, you are the first person I think of when I wake up and the last one before I close my eyes. **_

_**I just can't help myself... what I feel for you is something so strong and so deep that sometimes don't know what to do anymore, I've never felt like this about anyone before. I love you so much it hurts. Each time you go out on a case my heart bleeds and I stop breathing until you come back. Knowing you're safe isn't enough to convince me, the only way my mind and my body are at ease is when I can hug you tight against me.**_

_**Yeah, Gibbs, that's how it is, I'm in love with you and I've decide to let you know because I don't want to end up wondering about the what ifs of the maybe's, I've seen it too much, we've seen it too much on the cases we have to work on, Lives destroyed in the name of love, but the worst is when the women or men that left behind with all the memories of those they loved, Gibbs. I don't want to wake up one day and start crying over what maybe could have been because I didn't dare to tell you how I felt about you. **_

_**The biggest regrets are the things we haven't done or said And I don't want any regrets anymore, Gibbs, I've had too many already. Never again. **_

_**I might be making a complete fool of myself here...**_

_**I don't even know how you feel about me, but as we always have been honest to one another I thought you should know. If you don't feel the same way, I guess it's gonna be hard, but I'll figure something out, I promise, you won't have to worry about me. **_

_**I said what I had to say, boss-man now it's up to you. **_

_**Please don't hate me.**_

_**Abby.**_

_Hate you, Abbs? Don't you already know that I could never hate you? And certainly not now that I know you love me._

Gibbs could not tear his eyes away from the paper, he had in his hands reading the words over and over again, He was seeing them, understanding them, but, couldn't believe them just yet. He had to read them out loud.

Then after awhile the truth seemed to sink in Abby loved him. His Abby loved him, the way he loved her. She had inked the paper with the feelings he couldn't, wouldn't, and didn't dare to voice to her. Gibbs felt his heart swell up with emotions.

Finishing his coffee, he paused to look at the letter on the table again. He went upstairs to take a shower before he dressed. Thinking about his forensic scientist as he came down, a smile curving on his lips.

**000**

Abby was in her lab, nervously pacing, she couldn't help wondering about the letter she had written Gibbs. The words she chose to lay down on paper for him to read would have consequences, good or bad, they would determine the rest of her life. She hadn't had any doubt about the letter, knowing in her heart that it was the right thing to do. Though, now, as time went by she was starting to wonder...

_Was it really a good idea to write him this letter? _She had asked herself that question over and over again since she had left the letter on his kitchen table. Mentally reading the words she'd written to him.

Suddenly panicking as she remembered a few specific lines. _Oh God, Abby, how stupid have you been? He knows what it feels like to be the one left behind, he lost his wife Shannon and daughter, Kelly, Abby you are such an idiot. Gibbs Is never going for forgive me. What the hell came over me? I've hurt him for sure by writing this. What am I gonna do now? I can't impossibly go and take the letter back, can I? No he must have read it by now and think that I'm a complete fool. What if he shots me out of his life forever? _

_Oh God, what am I gonna do?_

Still pacing, her hands moving frantically, as if signing, as while she was mentally rambling. She jumped at the sound her cell made, telling her that Gibbs was calling her. The forensic scientist stared at her phone a moments before flipping it open, her hands slightly trembling and her heartbeat rising.

_"Abbs?"_

"Yeah, Gibbs?"

_"Go to the elevator."_ He told her, his tone not letting anything through. She had no idea if he had read the letter or not.

"Okay." Abby replied and left her lab marching to the elevator.

When she stood in front of closed metallic doors, she heard the familiar "ding" before the doors opened, her eyes wide with surprise as she saw Gibbs standing in the back of the elevator. A smirk on his face he hooked his index finger motioning her to come inside as he close his cell phone with the other hand.

Abby entered the metallic cage, a shy smile shinning on her lips, her heart beating even faster in her chest. For some reason, she suddenly was intimidated, the hand that was holding her cell phone automatically flipped it close as the elevator doors closed behind her. The elevator made its ascent and the emergency switch was engaged plunging the elevator shaft in a semi darkness_._ Neither of them said a word, they were just staring at one another.

_This is it then, the way you want it or not, but this is the time where, your life will change, Abbs... _

After a little while the stretching silence became too much for forensic scientist so she broke the silence.

"I take it you read the letter?" She asked in a soft voice.

The only response she got from the man standing in front of her was a nod of the head. Abby felt really nervous, she wanted to apologize for the words she had put in the letter. But she didn't want to tell him, she was sorry for telling him how she felt. She had to say something because it was driving her crazy.

"I'm so sorry, Gibbs, I didn't want to remind you of such hurtful memories..." Abby started to say purposefully avoiding his gaze not wanting to see the hurt or anger she might have caused him. "I should have been thinking through when I decided to write you 'cause if I did think things through I wouldn't have place this letter on your kitchen table this morning. I feel so stupid, Gibbs, I would totally understand if you wouldn't talk to me any... mfff"

The end of her sentence was never voiced as his hand had found the back of her neck and his lips had crushed on hers. Her eyes wide open shocked with surprise, closed after a couple of seconds as she responded to his kiss, it was slow and sweet, her arms locked themselves at his neck. As if they'd made a mutual agreement, they both moved. Abby was now with her back against the back panel, his strong body pressed against hers. Their lips and tongues playing a sensual game that was telling them how much they liked one another. A right hand placed itself on his neck and she pulled him even closer to her, deepening their kiss.

They could feel their bodies starting to react.

_If I don't stop this now, I won't be able to control my body much longer... _Abby's thought to herself.

_Oh God, Abbs, I love you so much._

The need of air forced them to break apart. Opening her eyes slowly, trying to regain control of her breathing, she pressed her forehead against his as her hands slid on his chest. He bent slightly forwards and murmured in her ear. "I don't hate you, Abby." He said in such a sexy voice that it sent a thrill down her spine.

"Ye... Yeah, I... I think I get that." Abby told him in a somewhat shaky voice.

"Now, what do we do, Abbs?"

"I love you, I told you the words that changed my life, the way, I wanted, It's up to you now..."

Gibbs chuckled, "up to me, huh?"

Nodding affirmatively she said, "You always know what's the best thing to do."

_You're kidding me, right, Abbs, if it wasn't for your letter, you would never have changed your life the way you want, the way we both wanted it to change. If it wasn't for you would still wonder if I should or not tell you how I feel so this time you did know what's good for us. writing me that letter was the thing to do. _Gibbs thought.

"In that case..." He told her, pulling back to look at her a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

Gibbs bent down and captured her lips again in a demanding, hungry kiss. Both out of breath when they broke off, they needed a few minutes to regain their breathing.

When Abby could form words again, "Damn, Gibbs, if you kiss like that, I wonder what else you can do with those lips."

"Why don't you come home with me to find out?" He told her.

"When?" she asked, her voice no more than a whisper, her body her breath catching in her throat.

"Now..."

Stealing one more kiss before he pulled at the emergency switch again, the elevator went back to live again as the light went back on. She was about to reply, but thought better. Tony could take over.

_If I had known that it would trigger such a reaction on your part, Gibbs, I would have written you such a letter years ago._

As they both walk toward his car in the parking lot, they knew their lives were changing for the better. Reality sunk into Gibbs that he was loved, truly loved, but most importantly he'd allowed himself to love again.

THE END


End file.
